March 5th, 2010 by admin
Half dressed redneck couple sitting on couch watching news on TV with man’s arm around the woman. The man says “Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. Right, Darlin?” The woman replies, “That’s right, Daddy.”
December 19th, 2009 by admin
Top Ten Signs You Know You’ve Joined A Redneck HMO…
10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape.
9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming.
8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little “m”s on each pill.
7. Preventive Care Coverage includes “an apple a day”.
6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy.
4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter.
3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
2. Directions to the Dr.’s office include “Take a left when you enter the trailer park”.
1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter’s
December 9th, 2009 by admin
Redneck Sex Test:
1. The clitoris is a type of flower.
True or False
2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
True or False
3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
True or False
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
True or False
5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
True or False
6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
True or False
7. Semen is a term for sailors.
True or False
8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
True or False
9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
True or False
10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
True or False
11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
True or False
12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
True or False
13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
True or False
14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
True or False
15. An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.
True or False
16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
True or False
17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
True or False
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
True or False
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
True or False
20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
True or False
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
True or False
22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
True or False
23. Pornography is the business of making records.
True or False
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
True or False
25. Douche is the French word for “twelve”.
True or False
November 12th, 2009 by admin
You Might Be a Redneck if…
You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
September 16th, 2009 by admin
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
September 8th, 2009 by admin
September 4th, 2009 by admin
What do a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?
In the end someone is going to lose a trailer.
October 25th, 2008 by admin
“You’ve just had your twelfth baby miss. What are you going to name this one?”
“Phil”
“But you named the last eleven Phil”
“Yeah its great. I say Phil go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say Phil come for dinner, they all come for dinner.”
“But what if you only want one of them?”
“Oh! Then I call them by their last name.”
June 28th, 2008 by admin
