May 8th, 2010 by admin

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn’t get out of her room. “You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”

The stewardess replied: “There are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

March 10th, 2010 by admin

So three mothers (blonde, brunette, and redhead) are sitting around one afternoon exchanging stories about their daughters.

The brunette says, “You know the other day, I found an ashtray with cigarette butts in my little Missy’s room. I can’t believe she is smoking!”

The redhead chimed in, “If you think that is bad, the other day in my little Emily’s room, I found empty liquor bottles. I can’t believe she is drinking!”

Shaking her head the blonde says, “I know how you two feel. Just the other day, in my little Mary’s room, I found used condoms. I can’t believe she has a dick!!”

January 6th, 2010 by admin

Two blondes walk into a building. I don’t know why one of them didn’t see it.

October 28th, 2009 by admin

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!”

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.” So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?”

After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “Ninety?”

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh — everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, “GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, “Ok! Ok! Just one more chance — What is 2 plus 2?”

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, “Four?”

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream…

“GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!”

August 29th, 2009 by admin

Did you hear about the blonde that couldn’t learn to water ski?

 She couldn’t find a lake with a slope.

August 17th, 2009 by admin

A young blonde woman in Omaha, Nebraska was so depressed that she
decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Missouri River.

She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water
when a handsome young man saw her tottering on the edge of the dock,
crying.

He took pity on her and said, “Look, you have so much to live for. I’m
a sailor and I’m off to Europe in the morning. If you like, I can stow
you away on my ship. I’ll take good care of you and bring you food every
day.”

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added,
“I’ll keep you happy, and you’ll keep me happy.”

The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a
fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.

From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece
of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by
the captain.

What are you doing here?” the captain asked “I have an arrangement
with one of the sailors,” she explained

“I get food and a trip to Europe, and he’s screwing me.”

“He certainly is,” the captain said. “This is Harrah’s Casino, and we
never leave Council Bluffs.”

July 6th, 2009 by admin

Two blondes are walking down the street when one of them looks down and finds a mirror.
She picks it up, looks into it, and says, “WOW! I know this person. I’ve seen this person somewhere before…”

The other blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, “Duh, of course you have. That’s me!”

June 27th, 2009 by admin

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

21. One to stir the batter and twenty to peel the M&M’s

June 13th, 2009 by admin

Three women were about to be executed. One was a brunette, one a redhead, and the other a blonde.

The guard brought the first woman, the brunette, forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests.
She said no, and the executioner shouted: “… Ready … Aim … !! and suddenly the brunette yelled, “EARTHQUAKE!”.

Everyone was shocked and looked around. She escaped.
So they brought up the redhead and asked if she had any last requests. She said no, and the executioner shouted: “… Ready … Aim …!! and suddenly the redhead yelled “TORNADO!”

Everyone was startled and looked around. She escaped.
By now, the blonde had it all figured out. They brought her forward and the executioner asked if she had any last requests. She said no and the executioner shouted: “… Ready … Aim … !! and the blonde yelled, “FIRE!”

June 7th, 2009 by admin

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.
Hellloooo,………..just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.
So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!
Helllooooo? It’s been a year, I told him!
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.
He never called back.
I bet he felt like an idiot.