September 28th, 2008 by admin
A couple in their 60’s are celebrating their 40th anniversary. The wife says, “You know, on our wedding night, you made love to me 4 times. Now we hardly do it once a month.” The husband says, “I’ve still got it, sweetie and I’m game if you are!”
They go upstairs and the first time goes fine. The man struggles a bit the second time to finish and takes a short nap. He wakes up and strains, barely completing the third attempt. Taking another nap, he wakes up and barely manages the 4th go-round before collapsing into a deep sleep.
He wakes up late for work and rushes in only to be met by his irate boss. “Sorry sir, I guess my wife and I celebrated our anniversary at bit too much and I overslept this morning.”
“OK, I can understand that..but where were you yesterday and the day before?”
September 27th, 2008 by admin
September 26th, 2008 by admin
A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, “I’ve some bad news. You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.”
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
“Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. Let’s head to the club and have a martini.”
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her Impending end. “I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.”
The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.
After the friends left, the woman’s daughter leaned over and whispered, “Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told Your friends you were dying of AIDS. “The woman said, “I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.
“That’s “Putting Your Affairs In Order.
September 25th, 2008 by admin
September 24th, 2008 by admin
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea…..does that mean one out of five enjoys it?
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Somebody told me the other day that Diarrhea is Hereditary, apparently it runs in the Jeans.
September 24th, 2008 by admin
Person 1: Knock, knock
Person 2: Who’s there?
Person 1: The interrupting cow
Person 2: The inter-
Person 1: MOO!
September 20th, 2008 by admin
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.”
His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!” So the first fella did just that.
The next day his buddy asked, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How’d it turn out?”
“She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling — I’ll see you in two hours!”
September 18th, 2008 by admin
After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.
He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him “This is all in your mind,” and refers him to a psychiatrist.
After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, “I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.” Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.
The witch doctor says, “I can cure this.” He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says “This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say `123` and it shall rise for as long as you wish!”
The guy then asks the witch doctor “What happens when it`s over?” The witch doctor says “All you or your partner has to say is `1234` and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!”
The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says “123″, and suddenly he gets an erection.
His wife turns over and says “What did you say `123` for?”
September 15th, 2008 by admin
September 14th, 2008 by admin
