November 30th, 2008 by admin

November 29th, 2008 by admin

What do you call four matadors in quicksand?

Quatro Cinqo

November 29th, 2008 by admin

Two blonde girls meet in heaven. They start talking about how they died. The first girl says that she froze to death.
The second girl says she had a heart attack because she was frantically trying to find a woman hiding in her house because her husband was having an affair on her.
The first girl says “Pity you didn’t look in the freezer.”

November 28th, 2008 by admin

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough
Frequent Flier miles.
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.
Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make
money, etc.
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.
“Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.
The Martian responds, “Pretty much the way you do.
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and
experience one another.
Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips.
He’s got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch
thick.
“I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen.
“Why?” he asks. “What’s the matter?”
“Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”
“No problem,” he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap
of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite impressively long.
“Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive, but it is still narrow.”
“No problem,” he says, and starts pulling his ears.
With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is
extremely exciting to the woman.
“Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways.

As they walked along, Mike asks,
“Well, was it any good?”
“I hate to say it,” says Maureen, “but it was wonderful.
How about you?”
“It was horrible,” he replies. “All I got was a headache.
She kept on slapping my forehead and pulling my ears!

November 27th, 2008 by admin

November 27th, 2008 by admin

A young man was in town looking for a little something from the ladies. A cab driver gave him an address and told him he could find anything he wanted there.

When the young man arrived, he saw a door with a small panel on it. He knocked and the panel slid open. A female voice asked what he wanted.

“I want to get screwed,” said the man.

“OK, but this is a private club. Slide twenty bucks in the slot as an initiation fee,” answered the voice.

The man slid twenty dollars in the slot, the panel closed, and ten minutes passed. Nothing happened.

He began to pound on the door, and the panel slid open.

“Hey,” exclaimed the man, “I want to get screwed!”

“What?” said the voice, “Again?”

November 26th, 2008 by admin

November 21st, 2008 by admin

A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first
year schoolchildren, using a bowl of Fruit Loops, the cereal with the
hole in it.
He gave all the children the same kind of loop, one at a time, and
asked them to identify them by colour and flavour. The children began
to say:
‘Red…………cherry,’ ‘
Yellow………lemon,’
‘Green……….lime,
‘ Orange ……..orange.’
Finally the professor gave them all ‘honey’ loops.
After eating them for a few moments none of the children could
identify the taste.
‘Well,’ he said ‘I’ll give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may
sometimes call your father.’
One little girl looked up in horror, spat hers out and yelled:
‘Oh My God!!!! They’re assholes !!’

November 20th, 2008 by admin

November 19th, 2008 by admin

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a
new 21 speed mountain bike.
“Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300,” he
asked.
“Easy, Dad,” little Johnny replied. “I earned it hiking.”
“Come on Johnny,” the father said. “Tell me the truth.”
“That is the truth!” Johnny replied.
“Every night you were gone, Mom’s boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over
to see Mom. He’d give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!”