January 31st, 2009 by admin

January 30th, 2009 by admin

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
“Hey, girls,” says the brunette one day, “let’s go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know.”

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss.

She quietly sneaks out of the house and vows to return home at her normal time the next day.
In the morning, the brunette says: “That was fun, we should do it again sometime.”

“No way,” says the blonde. “I almost got caught.”

January 29th, 2009 by admin

January 28th, 2009 by admin

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog
he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest
and asked,”Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the
creature?”

Father Patrick replied, “No, we cannot have services for an animal in the
church, but there’s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they
believe, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”

Muldoon said “I’ll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate
for the service?”

Father Patrick asked, “Why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic?”

January 27th, 2009 by admin

January 24th, 2009 by admin

A Polish man was walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful women lying in the sun, and he really wants to meet one. But try as he might, the women don’t seem to be at all interested. Finally, as a last resort, he walks up to a Frenchman lying on the beach who is surrounded by adoring women.

“Excuse me,” he says, taking the guy aside, “but I’ve been trying to meet one of those women for about an hour now, and I just can’t seem to get anywhere with them. You’re French. You know these women. What do they want?”

“Maybee I can help a leetle beet,” says the Frenchman. “What you do ees you go to zee store. You buy a leetle bikini sweeming suit. You walk up and down zee beach. You meet girl very qweekly zees way.”

“Wow! Thanks!” says the Pole, and off he goes to the store. He buys a skimpy red bathing suit, puts it on, and goes back to the beach. He parades up and down the beach but still has no luck with the ladies. So he goes back to the Frenchman.

“I’m sorry to bother you again,” he says, “but I went to the store, I got a swimsuit, and I still haven’t been able to meet a girl.”

“Okay,” says the Frenchman, “I tell you what you do. You go to zee store. You buy potato. You put potato in sweeming suit and walk up and down zee beach. You will meet girl very, very qweekly zees way.”

“Thanks!” says the guy, and runs off to the store. He buys the potato, puts it in the swimsuit, and marches up and down the beach. Up and down, up and down he walks, but the women will hardly even look at him.

After half an hour he can’t take it anymore and goes back to the Frenchman. “Look,” he says, “I got the suit, I put the potato in it, and I walked up and down the beach, and still nothing! What more can I do?” “Well,” says the Frenchman, “maybe I can help you a leetle beet. Why don’t you try moving zee potato to the front of zee sweeming suit?”

January 23rd, 2009 by admin

What do homosexual horses eat? ….Haaaaaay!

January 23rd, 2009 by admin

Know what the grape said when I stepped on it?

It didn’t say a word, it just let out a little wine.

January 19th, 2009 by admin

January 18th, 2009 by admin

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer,
he was delighted, as was his wife.
But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and even walking.
So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.
After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare,
Ralph’s condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.
“How long will Ralph be on crutches?” the wife asked anxiously.
“Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the surprised doctor.
“Well,” said the wife coldly, “you’re gonna lengthen his legs, aren’t you?”