February 28th, 2010 by admin

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?

Milk and quackers.

February 27th, 2010 by admin

There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says “That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.”

His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ” but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ” Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”

February 26th, 2010 by admin

February 25th, 2010 by admin

Children’s Books Not Recommended by the National Library Association

Clifford the Big Dog is Put to Sleep

Nutritional Benefits of Things from your Nose

The Hardy Boys, the Bobsey Twins, and the Vice Squad

The Tickling Babysitter

A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides

Charles Manson Bedtime Stories

Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle

Babar Becomes a Piano

Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear

David Duke’s World of Imagination

Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables

Legends of Scab Football

Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina

Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer

Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales But Can’t Remember the Endings to All of them

Ed Beckley’s Start a Real-Estate Empire with the Change From Your Mom’s Purse

Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

Let’s Draw Betty and Veronica Without Clothes

The Care Bears : Maul Some Campers

You Were an Accident

Strangers Have the Best Candy

The Little Sissy Who Snitched

Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

When Mommy and Daddy Don’t Know the Answer They Say God Did It

Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia

What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

Bi-Curious George

Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver

You Are Different and That’s Bad

Dad’s New Wife Timothy

Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games

Testing Homemade Parachutes With Your Household Pets

Why Your Moms “Flashlight” Vibrates

Detours Using Local High Traffic Rail Tracks

February 24th, 2010 by admin

A preacher goes into a bar and says “Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up.” Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner.

The preacher says “My son, don’t you want to go to heaven when you die?” The drunk says “When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now.”

February 23rd, 2010 by admin

February 22nd, 2010 by admin

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

February 21st, 2010 by admin

February 8th, 2010 by admin

How do you confuse an archaeologist?

Give ‘em a used tampon and ask which period it’s from.

February 7th, 2010 by admin

What kind of birds flock together?
Vel-crows.